Sunday, April 29, 2012

My Prayer

After a restless night's sleep the other night, I decided to write down my thoughts. It ended up being this prayer: Dear God, I praise you for your omnipotence,  awesomeness, holiness.  I praise you because you are a mighty, wonderful, loving God.  Thank you for your mercy, thank you for saving even me, thank you for your love and care.  Thank you for always working all things together for good.  Thank you for knowing what is in our hearts, even before we ask.  Thank you for your goodness.   My Lord and my God, thank you for giving us a heart to adopt.  Thank you for what you have already done in this adoption and what you are going to do.   Lord,  I find myself feeling discouraged, weak, alone, and helpless in this process.  Please forgive me for my doubts and fears. Please help me to wipe away these feelings and rely on You completely.  Your works are wonderful, thank you for being a God of compassion and comfort. Please  help me to trust in You and rely on Your perfect timing.  Please give me a renewed energy to complete your work.  Please prepare our hearts and minds for what you have for us.   Lord, please prepare your chosen  child's heart to be ready to be part of this family.  Give him peaceful nights sleep, give him nourishment, calm his cry.  Please heal emotional and physical ailments he may have and Lord, may we please get to him soon?   Please prepare all of our family's hearts to accept this child and cherish this child, just as you already do.  Break our hearts for what breaks Yours. And Lord, I know this adoption can only come from you.  Please show me the next steps you want me to take.  Please help me to trust.  You have everything in control. Thank you for this miracle you are doing in this adoption.  May  we give you all the praise and glory with every step...both the highs and the lows. I can't thank you enough for giving me breathe, and for blessing even me with Robert and our kids.  I'm so undeserving and yet your mercy is astounding and humbly brings me to tears.  Thank you, my God, my Savior, my Father. I pray in Your name, Amen

Tuesday, April 10, 2012

God cares

I woke up this morning in tears and having an overwhelming sense to just pray for our child and our adoption. I have no idea why and I can't really describe this feeling. Our little son is always on my mind, in my dreams, and I am constantly praying, but this morning felt different. Again, I don't know how to describe it. All I can make of it is God is moving in this...He's putting all the pieces together. I have wondered if our child is heart broken today and maybe God is having me feel some of his pain...or maybe a family member of our son is saying goodbye? I just don't know. While I was teaching this mornings Bible lesson, one of the suggested teacher's questions was to ask the class what the verse means when it says "look at the birds of the air..our Heavenly Father takes care of them...are you much more valuable than they?". I want every child to know how valuable they are. It tears me to think that some children (even adults) don't know this!!! I needed to be reminded of that today. Our Father does care, we are valuable, He will take care of us!!! And of course (because even teachers get the right lesson at the right time) our lesson was on Peter walking on the water, until he took his eyes off Jesus, became afraid, and began to sink. Then Jesus reached out His hand...Needless to say this morning's lesson had me blinking tears, trying not to let the class notice. I was reading through my last post. After reflecting back, I see now I was wrong about something...that path was never "dirty" or "dusty". It's a beautiful path, because our Saviour is leading us through it every step of the way. It may not be an easy path, but I will walk it a million times if it's what it takes to follow my God. I will take all the bumps, all the rocks, all the bruises, and anything else it may have if it means we get to have God's child. I am thankful for that path!!! Lastly, we have made a decision regarding a choice we had. We are going to continue adopting through Ghana. We both feel God gave us our little boy to bring us to Ghana, and we are to carry on. We knew back when we first started, nothing was guaranteed, and although our hearts broke after losing our little Noel, we feel God gave us Noel to bring us to Ghana for the reason of adopting another child in His perfect timing. Again, we really need your prayers. We look forward to seeing this miracle!

Thursday, February 16, 2012

In His Time

It's been over two months now since we found out the little boy we were trying to adopt is no longer in the orphanage.  We still don't have answers to where he is or what happened.  However, we know God has another little one for us and His timing and plans are perfect. 

As I look back at the last couple months, I envision Robert and I happily walking along a beautiful path, and then out of no where, our legs were swept out from under us, leaving us lying there, confused and dusty...and the path is no longer beautiful.  After taking time to breathe, heal, and pray, we feel we are now ready to carry on and complete what God has started in our lives.  We are helping each other up, dusting ourselves off,  and even though the path is unclear, we will continue on one step at a time.

The song "In His Time" comes to my mind often.  The lyrics are:
In His Time, in His Time.
He makes all things beautiful, in His time.
Lord, please show me every day,
As You're teaching me Your way,
That You do just what You say,
In Your Time

In Your time, in Your time,
You make all things beautiful, in Your time.
Lord, my life to You I bring,
May each song I have to sing,
Be to You a lovely thing,
In Your time.

Honestly, I wish it could be MY time, I want more than anything to know the child He has for us and have this child in my arms right now.  But it's not about me or my's about Him, and Him knowing what is best.  He already knows the desires of our hearts, we need to have faith and trust that He is going to complete this blessing, and we are to give Him all the praise and glory along the way!

Without going into a lot of details, we are faced with a decision...I guess you could say it's two different paths.  One path seems easier and shorter; the other path is longer, but may possibly have a clearer outcome.  Either path we take will still need some major funding, about $16,000.  Although we have been praying about both ways, neither of us feel God calling us one way or another.  Please pray with us for wisdom and discernment, for clear direction, and for peace in our hearts.  Also, please pray that we will find a fundraising opportunity and for a funding miracle to happen.

Thank you for taking time to read this and thank you for your prayers, concern, and love.  Your support means a lot to us.

God sets the lonely in families.

Wednesday, December 28, 2011

Difficult Update

Well, I don't really know where to start. I guess I'll go back to my last post, which was in June (oh my, time flies!!!). We have been very busy on our adoption path and have news we need to share.

The adoption auction we had at our church in June went very well. It was a complete "God thing"...we really felt His presence, peace, and blessings. We raised over $4,000 towards our adoption!

In July, we had our home study. We enjoyed the whole process and really liked our social worker. In talking with her, she shared that she was adopted, her husband was adopted, and then together they adopted a little girl. So cool! Everything went very smoothly. After waiting for all of our referral letters to come in, we received our notarized home study in early September. We held a softball tournament for a fundraiser, and were touched by how many people helped with it. We also worked on our passports, our state clearances and criminal background checks, our adoption education, financial statements, and completed our health evaluations and forms at that time. We both did our psychological evaluations required by our agency, which was a meeting with a psychologist and a 300plus question computerized test. We both passed (phew...heehee!), and received our notarized evaluations quite quickly. We sent in our USCIS application to the government, and received our appointment to get fingerprinted. The fingerprinting was fun, we went through what seemed like airport security, they went through everything! The fingerprinting was computerized, I was disappointed because I was looking forward to getting the ink like you see on tv. :) Again, everything went very smoothly. We are ready to send our dossier to Ghana, just need the funds to be able to do so. Our next step is to apply for grants and do more fundraising. This aspect has not been going smoothly, and I kept praying for God to give us time and energy to put into the grants and fundraising, but never found it. Now that we are so far into our adoption process, our agency coordinator told us she would get more information and updates on our little Noel. She also mentioned it may be what we need to get "re-energized" into getting the funds we need so we can get our dossier over to Ghana so we can bring our little boy home. We were so excited to hear how he is, how he had grown, how his health is, if he even knew about us, how many words can he say, is he potty trained, etc., etc., etc.!!! We were told their internet connection in Ghana was not good and they were trying to fix the problem. After three weeks, we had found out through a weekly mailing that the internet problem had been fixed, so Robert and I were anticipating hearing from our agency. Finally, on a Tuesday afternoon, my phone rang while I was in school. I noticed it was our agency, so I ran out for a quick second to hear the didn't sound as exciting as I had imagined...she had just said she heard from the orphanage and to call her. I quickly checked my email, thinking maybe our coordinator had forwarded documents. All it said was, "We need to talk, call me as soon as you can." I felt nauseas, I tried to keep telling myself everything is fine, I'm just "reading into it too much." As soon as my students were dismissed, I ran out to call Robert and told him about the voicemail and email, then I returned the phone call to our agency. That's when I got some hard news.

Our agency coordinator told me that Noel is not in the orphanage anymore. He's not there, and they are not getting answers of why. My heart broke. She told me she'd call the next day, and let me go. I called Robert, barely able to get out words. I think we were just silent for a while. It's been four weeks now, and we are still shaken. It was difficult telling the kids. We haven't told many people, I haven't wanted to speak about it and don't have answers. I remember after the phone call that day, crying out to God, telling Him I'm giving Him a white flag because I give up. Still today, I don't know what to do. Why would He put us on this path, then take it away? Why did it feel so clear that Noel was the one God had chosen for us, then have him ripped away? Why was everything going so smoothly, then all of a sudden this happens? What do we do now?

I don't know the answers to these questions, but I do know...

As far as the adoption...I know God called us to adopt, and we are going to continue. There's a few options we can do now, we have all of our paperwork and everything needed to adopt a child. We can continue with our adoption through Ghana, and adopt a different child. We could go through another country to adopt. We could adopt here in the US. We just don't know and are praying for God's guidance, wisdom, and clear direction.

As far as Noel...we are praying that he is safe and in a loving environment, that he comes to know that there is a mighty, loving God that cares so much about him, that he grows up to be a man with godly characteristics, and that he has overflowing love and joy in his heart.

As far as why did this happen...God is God, He doesn't need to explain, His plans are always perfect and best for us. Maybe we will know one day and it will all make sense, maybe we won't. Even though it's been hard, we find rest knowing that He is our Shelter, our Stronghold, our Savior.

Over the last few weeks, I've asked myself how do people go through anything rough in their lives without Jesus. I've found myself asking this many times when I see things on tv like earthquakes or people living in the middle of war or people living is severe poverty or seeing people lose homes or loved ones in a fire or natural disaster or murders. Even here in my little part of the world, hearing people having financial troubles, foreclosures, losing loved ones, going through cancer, sicknesses, job losses, relationship do people do it without knowing Jesus? Where do they go? Who do they turn to? Who do they trust? How do they get help? How do they find peace and joy again?

Some verses from God's Word that have helped me:

"The Lord is a refuge for the oppressed, a stronghold in times of trouble." Psalm 9:9

"The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; He will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged." Deuteronomy 31:8

"In peace I will lie down and sleep, for you alone, Lord, make me dwell in safety." Psalm 4:8

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." Matthew 11:28-30

"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever your go." Joshua 1:9

"Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you." 1 Peter 5:7

I am so thankful to know God's peace and comfort. I don't know what the future holds, but I do know God loves me, my husband, and my kids. His timing and plans are perfect, even though I may not understand it.

Would you please pray for us and our adoption journey? Please pray we follow God's direction and that another child will be revealed, please continue to pray for Noel, and please pray for our finances and adoption funds.

I would love to pray for you also. If you don't know God's peace or if you have something on your heart that you would like prayer for, please contact me on here on this blog, or by emailing me at:

Thank you for your continued prayer and support!

"He replied, Because you have so little faith. Truly I tell you, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there', and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you." Matthew 17:20

"Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours." Mark 11:24

"And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord's people." Ephesians 6:18

Monday, June 13, 2011

Rob's Turn

I am sitting here thinking about the journey we are on to help a little child have the love he deserves and a place he can call home. I think of how much God has taught us to trust Him more and more through this process. I know myself when Bethanie and I discussed adoption I was very hesitant and kept asking her how we were going to afford to do this. I have trusted God more and more in this area and completely turned the finance part of it over to Him. We have been very blessed so far and with the auction just under a week away we have received some great items to be auctioned off. I know God is working in this area and we just need to be patient and He will work all the details out. I know we will need prayers and help from everyone, and I know He will provide. I am excited to bring this little boy home!

We would love to see a lot of people come and support us in this auction. Bring your kids, family, and friends. This is open to the public. Please pray for a good turnout with us and please continue to pray for our family and Noel as we go thru this journey.

Bethanie has updated below the items that will be up for auction. God has blessed us with quite a few great items. We are thankful to everyone for their support and prayers.

Saturday, May 28, 2011


Please plan on coming to our auction on Saturday, June 18, at 10:00!! All are invited, and please bring family and friends. We'll be having a continental breakfast with plenty of coffee and juice too! It's being held in our church's auditorium, The Journey Baptist Church, 7 Amarosa Drive, in Rochester, NH. The church is located behind the Stonewall Kitchen. We would love to see you there!

We already have some really cool things donated so far:
2 admission passes to Santa's Village in Jefferson, NH
4 tickets to 19th Century Willowbrook Village in Newfield, ME
a big (I need to get the measurements) ocean watercolor painting
4 tickets to the Children's Museum of NH in Dover
2 adult and 2 children tickets for a train ride at Maine Narrow Gauge Railroad in Portland, ME
2 ski lift tickets at Pats Peak in Henniker, NH
4 tickets to a Portland Sea Dogs game in Portland, ME
Lia Sophia jewelry donated by Patricia McSharry from Rochester, NH
2 tickets to the Seacoast Repertory Theatre in Portsmouth, NH
4 VIP passes to York's Wild Animal Kingdom in York Beach, ME
2 tickets to Clark's Trading Post in Lincoln, NH
Pampered Chef Hospitality Set donated by Tammy MacDonald
4 vouchers for Amtrak

and just in:
2 tickets to Soulfest 2011 donated by Amber Weststrate
Autographed J.D. Drew photo donated by Boston Red Sox
Coach wristlet bag donated by Leah Sprowl
6' Picnic table donated by Nutes Trading Post
16 hours of electrical work donated by Andy Becker
Cupcakes donated by Krista Willis
$25 gift certificate for Avon donated by Robin Healey
Custom airbrush work donated by Vic Healey
Tree removal or pruning donated by Dennis Chapman and Burke's Tree Service
Apple Pie donated by Donna Devoid
Something sweet donated by Wagner Family
Bathroom Cleaning donated by Linda Wentworth
25% off oil change donated by Rich Wentworth
2lb box of Goldenrod Salt water taffy
2 rounds of golf with cart from Ragged Mountain Resort
2 tickets to Ogunquit Playhouse
4 box seat tickets to NH Fisher Cats
2 tickets to Manchester Monarchs
2 passes to Childrens Museum and Theatre of Maine

Plus, Lino (from Lino's in Wakefield, NH) has offered to help us with the breakfast. Thank you, thank you, thank you to Lino!

Pretty awesome, huh?! I'm so thankful to each person and business that has helped us in this way! Please come and bid on these awesome things and enjoy some breakfast and coffee! We still need more donations. If you or someone you know would be willing to donate for the auction, please let us know. My email is:, or items can be dropped off at our church (info above).

To be honest, we still need to raise $19,000 more for the whole adoption. We realize we need to take it step by step, and right now we are praying specifically for $1760 to help with some paperwork and the home study. Please pray for God's blessing and provision with this adoption. We are so ready to have this child in our family, the only thing holding us back is the funds to do so. We know it's all in God's timing, and if this is what He wants, He will provide.

We are sponsored through our church's adoption fund which accepts tax-deductible donations on our behalf if you feel you would like to help us monetarily. Words really can't express how much we would appreciate it. Here is our church's info:

The Journey is a non-profit organization (Tax ID #20-1066486) and donations received for this event tax-deductible. All funds received through sponsors will be used to underwrite the costs of this event and a contribution letter will be sent back to any sponsor within 30-45 days of receiving donation funds. All that is needed is a mailing address, a contact name, and for each check to have in the memo “Adoption Fund.” All checks can be sent to The Journey, attention Elizabeth Kesselring, at 124 Milton Road, Rochester, NH 03868.

I'll try to keep updating as more things come in for the auction and as we have more updates with the adoption process. Currently we are working on paperwork, paperwork, paperwork. (Trust me, there's a lot!)

Again, we really need people to come and bid on June 18!! If you can't make it but would like to bid on an item(s), let me know and I can be your absentee bidder!! My email is above.

Thanks for taking time to read this. We love you and are thankful for you in our lives.

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Upcoming Events

Seacoast Christian School Bell Choir performance is this Sunday, May 22, from 6:00pm to about 7:30pm. The concert is being held at Kaleo Coffee in Dover, NH (in the Janetos Plaza in downtown Dover). Please invite every one you know to come! The concert is free, and any donations go to our adoption fund. We will also be selling out adoption t-shirts at the concert (my brother designed them...Thank you, Luke, we love them!), and our friend, Amber, is graciously doing a raffle for us. (Thank you, Amber, you're a wonderful friend!)

The bell choir plays many genres including hymns, classical, patriotic, show tunes, etc. Every age will enjoy their performance. We are so thankful to the high school kids (and their parents!) at Seacoast Christian School and to the music director, Mrs. Towne, for holding a concert for us this Sunday. They are coming not expecting anything out of it for themselves, but just to be a blessing. We appreciate their selfless generosity!

Also, our church is sponsoring an Adoption Auction on Saturday, June 18 at 10:00 am. We will be having a continental breakfast along with the auction. We would love for you to join us and bid on some items (a list of items is to come in the next couple weeks). Pastor Rob will be the auctioneer (woo-hoo!!! Thank you P. Rob!), and my cousin, Jaimi, will be singing a song that we love called "One Less" (Thank you, Jaimi! Can't wait!) The Journey Baptist Church is located at 7 Amarosa Drive (behind Stonewall Kitchen to the left) in Rochester, NH.

We still need more items to be donated so we may auction them off. If you would be willing to help, we would really appreciate it! Items can be given to us or brought/mailed to our church. All donations through the church are tax-deductible.

My cousin made a website for us (Thank you, Leah, it's awesome!), it's We can be contacted through the site. Our church's mailing address is: The Journey, Attn: Elizabeth Kesselring, 124 Milton Rd., Rochester, NH 03868. (Thank you, Elizabeth, for doing all the paperwork and record-keeping with wonderful precision and organization!)

As I'm reviewing this post before publishing it, I am reminded how blessed we are to have such incredible people in our lives. Thank you so much to everyone for your support, help, and love. We love you so much! May God bless each of you, as you have blessed us and the child He has for us. What a joy it will be to introduce His little one to all of you!!!