Sunday, April 29, 2012
After a restless night's sleep the other night, I decided to write down my thoughts. It ended up being this prayer: Dear God, I praise you for your omnipotence, awesomeness, holiness. I praise you because you are a mighty, wonderful, loving God. Thank you for your mercy, thank you for saving even me, thank you for your love and care. Thank you for always working all things together for good. Thank you for knowing what is in our hearts, even before we ask. Thank you for your goodness. My Lord and my God, thank you for giving us a heart to adopt. Thank you for what you have already done in this adoption and what you are going to do. Lord, I find myself feeling discouraged, weak, alone, and helpless in this process. Please forgive me for my doubts and fears. Please help me to wipe away these feelings and rely on You completely. Your works are wonderful, thank you for being a God of compassion and comfort. Please help me to trust in You and rely on Your perfect timing. Please give me a renewed energy to complete your work. Please prepare our hearts and minds for what you have for us. Lord, please prepare your chosen child's heart to be ready to be part of this family. Give him peaceful nights sleep, give him nourishment, calm his cry. Please heal emotional and physical ailments he may have and Lord, may we please get to him soon? Please prepare all of our family's hearts to accept this child and cherish this child, just as you already do. Break our hearts for what breaks Yours. And Lord, I know this adoption can only come from you. Please show me the next steps you want me to take. Please help me to trust. You have everything in control. Thank you for this miracle you are doing in this adoption. May we give you all the praise and glory with every step...both the highs and the lows. I can't thank you enough for giving me breathe, and for blessing even me with Robert and our kids. I'm so undeserving and yet your mercy is astounding and humbly brings me to tears. Thank you, my God, my Savior, my Father. I pray in Your name, Amen
Tuesday, April 10, 2012
I woke up this morning in tears and having an overwhelming sense to just pray for our child and our adoption. I have no idea why and I can't really describe this feeling. Our little son is always on my mind, in my dreams, and I am constantly praying, but this morning felt different. Again, I don't know how to describe it. All I can make of it is God is moving in this...He's putting all the pieces together. I have wondered if our child is heart broken today and maybe God is having me feel some of his pain...or maybe a family member of our son is saying goodbye? I just don't know. While I was teaching this mornings Bible lesson, one of the suggested teacher's questions was to ask the class what the verse means when it says "look at the birds of the air..our Heavenly Father takes care of them...are you much more valuable than they?". I want every child to know how valuable they are. It tears me to think that some children (even adults) don't know this!!! I needed to be reminded of that today. Our Father does care, we are valuable, He will take care of us!!! And of course (because even teachers get the right lesson at the right time) our lesson was on Peter walking on the water, until he took his eyes off Jesus, became afraid, and began to sink. Then Jesus reached out His hand...Needless to say this morning's lesson had me blinking tears, trying not to let the class notice. I was reading through my last post. After reflecting back, I see now I was wrong about something...that path was never "dirty" or "dusty". It's a beautiful path, because our Saviour is leading us through it every step of the way. It may not be an easy path, but I will walk it a million times if it's what it takes to follow my God. I will take all the bumps, all the rocks, all the bruises, and anything else it may have if it means we get to have God's child. I am thankful for that path!!! Lastly, we have made a decision regarding a choice we had. We are going to continue adopting through Ghana. We both feel God gave us our little boy to bring us to Ghana, and we are to carry on. We knew back when we first started, nothing was guaranteed, and although our hearts broke after losing our little Noel, we feel God gave us Noel to bring us to Ghana for the reason of adopting another child in His perfect timing. Again, we really need your prayers. We look forward to seeing this miracle!